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Support for the Grieving

Navigating Grief

Pain is caused by so many different things and effects people in so many different ways that there is usually no one-size-fits-all answer. What we can say is that God loves you, and through Him, so does our team. You don't have to experience this pain on your own. Here are some resources for you or somone who love who may be experiencing grief. Assistance is also available upon request for any family, employee or department seeking help in planning and facilitating a memorial or funeral service for the loss of a loved one.

Connect with a Chaplain!

How to Grieve Guide

Few things compare to the pain of losing someone you love. While there’s no way to avoid intense feelings of grief, there are healthier ways to come to navigate your loss.

Counseling Services

Our counselors specialize in working with college-age individuals and they can offer support in many ways. Counseling sessions are free to currently enrolled students.

Additional Counseling Options

Serious loss can be overwhelming. If you, or someone you love, needs support to work through the grieving process the University Church Counseling Center may be a helpful resource.

Grief Support Groups

Join others who have experienced loss and in community find healing and hope.

Actively Moving Forward

Actively Moving Forward® (AMF) is a national network created in response to the needs of grieving young adults. Once on their website, you can get connected with support groups targeting college students, young adults, or professionals.

How to Support Someone Who's Grieving

Adapted from "We Get It: Voices of Grieving College Students and Young Adults."

Display empathy rather than sympathy and acknowledge the depth of grief.
Remain open to hearing about all aspects of someone's grief without pitying the grieving person.
Keep the support going.
Grief does not end and it is not a linear process. Avoid implying a timeline for grief.
Be present and offer tangible and practical support when appropriate.
Avoid giving specific advice, tying to "fix them," or trying to make it all better. Avoid making statements that begin with "You should" or "You will." These statements are too directive. Instead you could begin your comments with: "Have your thought about..." or "You might..."
Be open to the topic of brief and try not to avoid it.
You may think that avoiding the topic is saving the griever from pain, but actually such avoidance can add to their pain. They are thinking about their grief, so when you bring it up you are likely opening an important window that will allow them to share.
Provide opportunities for genuine expression of grief without judging.
Allow for the expression of negative emotions and be able to sit with them--with the griever and with his or her challenging feelings. You do not need to feel pressure to "fix" their feeling.
Ask about the loved one(s) who died.
Display your interest in learning about that person with questions, such as "tell me something special about your deceased loved one."
Consider your own strengths and relationship with the college student who is grieving.
What can you uniquly offer?
Be open to the uniqueness of grief and acknowledge that uniqueness.
Acknowledge that uniqueness rather than sending messages that there is one right way to grieve or implying that you know more about their grief than they do.
Be mindful of your comments and statements.
Avoid comments and statements that imply judgment, minimize the griever's experience, or attempt to placate.
Don't give them unrealistic expectations.
Recognize and communicate the fact that grief does not end.
Be consistent and persistent in your messages of care and concern.
They don't have to be huge gestures.
    • Encourage the college student to reach out to others for support.
    • Encourage your loved one to consider memorializing their loved one by participating in community service and pledge to participate along with them.
    • Avoid making assumptions that someone is doing great and "all better" based on their outward appearances--grieving in an internal process (e.g. feelings, body sensations, and other individual differences) that may never be seen.
    • If the grieving student is suicidal, it is your moral and ethical responsibility to find or refer him or her to a mental health professional (National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255).
Allow time for being present and letting grieving students vent even in the midst of the busy college environment.
Making such time is perhaps particularly important in the college environment as grief is counter to the usual focus on growth, learning, and fun.
Point them towards support groups.
Advocate for the needs of grieving students through the development of campus policies and encouragement of support groups for grieving students (e.g., AMG Support Network; www.studentsoramf.org).
Be approachable.
There is only so much you can do until the individual is ready. It is important not to be overbearing for them. Assure them that you are available, then be available and approachable.

Empathy vs. Sympathy

Don't know what to do to help someone you love who is grieving. Extend empathy which is a skill that can bring people together and make people feel included, while sympathy creates an uneven power dynamic and can lead to more isolation and disconnection.

Reading Recommendations

Surviving Grief

This book is the honest rendition of one woman’s struggle through devastating grief. Zaugg doesn’t pretend to have the answers for everyone. What she does offer are some very practical suggestions for facing the future.

Find it Here

Comfort for the Day: Living Through the Seasons of Grief

Comfort for the Day offers a personalized grief recovery experience, drawn from the source of all comfort- God. His Word will become a guide and friend as the reader lives through the confusing and painful seasons of grief.

Find it Here

Grieving with Hope

Grief is a human experience and no one is immune to it. We grieve when we lose someone or a dream dies. It can strike at any point and is often when we least expect it. We’ll dive into understanding grief and learn how to process the different kinds we’ll go through.

Find it Here

How To Thrive In Life's Toughest Seasons

Author and pastor Debra B. Morton reveals the secret to surviving and even thriving in the midst of setbacks and painful circumstances.

Find it Here

Grief Survivor

When you lose someone you love, life returns to normal in about 14 days — for everybody but you! If you're feeling stuck in sorrow, you are not alone. Grief Survivor author, Beth Marshall understands. After losing close family members, she realized grief is hard work! The Grief Survivor study will encourage you to write, and trust the Lord to do what only He can do — restore joy-filled life!

Find it Here

Facing the Giant of Grief and Loss

Any grieving process is painful. But if you are facing the loss of a loved one, the Bible says God is ‘near to the broken-hearted’ (Psalm 34:18 ESVUK), and He is able to carry you through the process of grieving. Read this 30-day devotional from UCB about how God draws close to those experiencing grief and loss.

Find it Here

Organize a meal train

Organize a meal train for a colleague who has experienced loss. Check with them first to know what meals, frequency of meals, etc. is most helpful.

Start Here